Jennifer Hanebuth Poet I do not know?

Hey Dad

i was driving when i was nineteen
angry full of angst and blame
thinking to point fingers
on my way 
was to your home

i wanted to say so many things
thanks for not calling, caring
visiting
thanks for my skewed memories
ones i wanted to keep
most wished to forget

this snowstorm blowing my vehicle
cold could not extinguish my rage
pent up anger
all the cheerleading games
concerts broken hearts
and dates gone well
built and fueled itself

i am at your door
you answer and i see your sunken face
you are a drunk
pathetic and lonely broken man
i couldn't help myself i wanted only
to recall the fishing trips
disney land
sea world, rock climbing, utah
camping, and dirty jokes full of swear words
the dad that remembered my birthday 
until i was fifteen, and camping was not cool to me anymore

you came to me, desperate too proud to 
beg for my forgiveness
but i gave
you were grateful and held me again
like you did when i was small
brought my cheerleading picture
said you held it close

i let it all go
now, and let myself rest
too old now to point fingers
too tired to carry your burdens flaws
with my own
good night 
sweet dreams
god bless you daddy

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