Hesitation Marks

Remember what you had that was great. In the spring I felt my blindness give way, And watched her pick flowers outside of the gate. She asked if I had made it that far astray, Just to waver there alone that day. Nothing matters and then everything does The moment you buckle at her touch. I gave her everything I was. I let her drown into every inch of my skin; I told her I'd never fall in love again. But I've killed myself so often in my mind, That I can't always tell if I'm alive. She cried when she saw it the very first time. She said I was cold beyond what she could Hold onto anymore. I couldn’t bring myself to touch her The way I longed to before. I watched her collect her things, waver at the door. I never had to ask what for.