Hell and Back

Hell and back again Lyrics sung with a sullen note With lingering anxiety building in my throat I feel that I cannot speak and must go Unable to keep pushing this down My Sunday laughter now a nervous frown When I thought this was dead and buried somehow One Sunday started with stolen looks and flirtation Love at first sight, notes passed on bar tops with anticipation Soon turned to fiery, unwavering passion We left the car running, in Love we were crashing One night our eyes, lips and bodies met Our hands and souls searching for something neither had quite found yet And a true felt romance then lingered Never to forget, best friends in a way But one with a debt that had yet to be paid Differences in adult wants led him astray Never wanting to disappoint or leave But unable to have or raise a family My heart shattered as the bullet did his skull And I failed to tell him on our last phone call But I never did stop Loving Him at all Nothing done could erase what we shared Although I had to move on For the flashbacks turned to nightmares And my heart and head could no longer cope With losing not only a Love but all Hope In myself or kind soul to pick up the pieces left Was it all a dream? I wish I truly could answer "yes" But it's burned in my heart and my mind all the same And now comes back from time to time reminding me of the pain Leaving no words for me to use to explain How I once went to Hell at 25 And came back again