Heaven's Sand

I hit the wall today for the first time since you've been gone, screaming to god what you did wrong. I shouted as loud as I could, asking him why you couldn't see your good. I want to smash every mirror I own, because every time you looked in one, it only made you feel alone. You couldn't see your beautiful, you were blinded by this worlds lies, and for that it's the devil I despise. He took away your sister far too soon, he took her far away, out of this earth, over the moon. I tried to tell you that you'd see her again, up in that bright sky, but in order to do that, you had to die. Call me selfish, call me greedy, but your voice was the only one who could feed me. Now I'm starving for a sound I'll never again get to hear, and now voice mails and videos are the only things that can help me bare, but it's just not the same without you here. I hated to see you cry, but please don't mind, while I do the same, because I can't help but to lose my breath whenever I hear your name. I've spent half my life, saving your hand written letters, and all of your cards too, but my heart wasn't prepared to finally lose you. I knew it would hurt, I just didn't know that it'd hurt this bad, because when I lost you Monday, Tuesday I realized I lost everything I had. Now I'm down here listening to songs that remind me of you, and right now, they're the only ones getting me through. I guess I was one of the lucky ones, because I accepted your faults without reason, and I never once blamed you for leaving. Demons come in different forms, and yours came in the shape of a tiny pill, get the best of you again,they never will. You're finally safe now, and far from the devils reach, now you're collecting seashells upon heavens beach. If you should miss me, hold one close to your ear, so that whenever I say I love you, it's my voice you'll hear. Adele sang that she'd turn black and blue to make another feel her love, but I'd break every bone in this body for one minute up above. I'd use every second to hold your hand, and walk beside you upon heavens sand. We shared a bond that will never be torn, but now it's your chance to be reborn. I'll get mine one day, just not right now, finally love yourself, I hope those angels show you how. So good bye for now, to the mother I adore, maybe one day I'll too, not hurt anymore.