Heartbroken Again and Again

~~~ Heartbreaks can give us inner strength in developing courage, self-growth, self-awareness and empathy or can break us physically and emotionally. ~~~ --- Quote By Poet --- In my life, this old heart of mine has been pierced and broken into pieces many times since I was six, when my grandmother told me that my mother, I called Mama gave me to her sister, I called Mommy to prepare me for my parents and two brothers were coming to live with us. I was heartbroken how my mother treated me, distant, no affection, lack of support or none at all, but made or exploited me to take care of my siblings for she had six more children. I was heartbroken again when my Mommy, who loved, cared and nurtured me got married and left to join her husband in Guam, when I was fourteen. Those two heartbreaks in my middle childhood and middle adolescence cannot compare to the extreme heartbreak when I left my son at age three and my daughter at age two to come to America to give them a better life and future. As a mother at twenty two, I felt deep sadness and pain months before I left for I knew deep in my heart the pangs, the heartaches of a child given away and left in someone’s care or custody. Although I was not giving my children away or abandoning them and fully knowing that leaving them was temporary, not knowing when we could be together was heartbreaking. The anguish of thinking of not being with them for years was devastating. The pain of uncertainty shattered my heart and prolonged my heartbreak. Many more heartbreaks followed before and after they came and joined me thirty eight years ago for they are part of life. Yes, heartbroken again and again!