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Heart

She hallowed out her heart again, She tore out all the black. Then scraped the walls with her bare hands, Until she reached the back. She washed off all the rusted screws, And broken veins, and pounding wounds. She tried to make sense of this scene, But honestly, she could not think. She knew she had to start fresh, But in her chest was left a mess. But in her hands was left the flesh, Of memories and secrets kept.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 11/15/2012 9:29:00 PM
This is very well written Ira! The angst portrayed by the woman is real. Nice work!
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Date: 11/14/2012 3:12:00 PM
I really like this how raw, the sights you show the emotion, I would suggest playing a bit more with the end rhyme [fresh/mess] it does 'feel' right? [she knew she ahd to adress/the gaping hole left in her chest] There are alot of good choices for the same end rhyme. Light & Love
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Dawson Avatar
Ira Dawson
Date: 11/14/2012 5:21:00 PM
I greatly appreciate your feedback, Debbie. I honestly like your suggest and I feel that you are right, there should be a tighter couplet there. :)

Book: Reflection on the Important Things