Healthy Relapse
I knew one day you would pull me back
Without you by my side it's hard to get on a good path
You pull me out of the darkness, while the other object would put me in a blood bath
You heal the trauma and heartache by giving me a healthy relapse
I've had my pen staring at me, begging me to hold it
You help me to reveal my heart but was unaware that I froze it
I hid my pain for so long, I was unable to show it
We were in a battle, I didn't care to relive it but you wanted me to expose it
Forgive me if you don't see me grinning, I'm not repaired
I'm still traumatised seeing my Mum have a stroke at the beginning of the year
I tried to block it out, but my mind kept reliving the moment
I've been trying to survive my thoughts, I forgot I had you to help me beat any opponent
I had flashbacks of my self-harm days when I couldn't cope
The blade telling me it'll hurt me less than the people I love the most
Maybe this journey isn't for me, or maybe I never understood the roads
I didn't know I'd lose so much blood during growth
But when I hold the pen close I never have the unsafe thoughts
I need to remember to pick you up next time I'm having blade wars
You feel safer in my hand than the blade did
The blade made me bleed, but when I used you the page did
I knew one day you would pull me back
Without you by my side it's hard to get on a good path
You pull me out of the darkness, while the other object would put me in a blood bath
You heal the trauma and heartache by giving me a healthy relapse
Copyright © Alex Duffy | Year Posted 2023
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