He Sent a Letter of Complaint

The letter said he wasn't happy with the way the product worked,
and then he went on telling me that I was just a stupid jerk. 
He told me I did not deserve to have this"simple, easy job",
that I was just a lazy person, no, more like a lazy slob.

I ask you, where does he get off with speaking in this tone of voice?
But that is how he wants to be and that is how he's made his choice. 
To be the person never happy, always mad with this or that,
He likes complaining, never cheery, never just a simple chat.

He targets things that have no bearing on the problem here at hand,
and yet he charges forth quite blindly saying he will take a stand. 
Attacking people, not the problem, never trying to make it right,
for all he wants is some attention so that he can start a fight.

I read his letter top to bottom, then I gave a straight reply,
for he would never make me tremble; he would never make me cry. 
I wrote a letter in plain English, something he could understand,
defending firstly my position, then defending this great brand.

My dearest sir,

You are my client asking me to make amends,
Now, what you do is your decision; what I do, it all depends.
So, first I'll start with how I'm feeling, and the reason I don't care,
for after telling me I'm stupid, I don't think you have a prayer.
Now let us look at this fine product that you seem to think is junk,
You tell me that it isn't working, but I think you're full of bunk.

So, how'd you feel about my answer? Really doesn't feel so good?
Well, maybe it would have been better if you spoke the way you should.
A little pow'r, a little triumph, everything you seem to need,
just doesn't help you in this moment, now that you cannot proceed.

I'll end this letter with suggestions at the way that you should act,
if you would like to get some answers, not just how I can react.
Please show respect with whom you're dealing; I may be your only friend.
Don't try to act like you're a hero; on my answer you depend.
And try to be more understanding; I'm just trying to do my job,
and there is never any reason calling me a lazy slob.

Now, there's my answer to your question,
Hope it helped you see the way, and if you send a better letter,
I will try to make your day.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017



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Date: 3/13/2017 10:08:00 AM
Good one David :)
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Pekrul Avatar
David Pekrul
Date: 3/13/2017 10:10:00 AM
Thanks Heidi, I used to work in a customer complaint department and I would have loved to have been able to send a letter like this.
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