Haunted Years

Hello and my name is Claire I’m twenty three years of age and come from nowhere When I was young my parents moved around the UK, Every place we travelled I met friends and had expectations to stay But he ruined everything, he used to bully mother and give her the odd black eye She was so unhappy, always down, I hated seeing her beautiful brown eyes cry So then she left and I was torn apart with the daunting option Mum or Dad Either way I had to choose, the biggest decision ever and it scarred me feel bad See daddies are meant to protect their little princesses and spoil them something rotten But what happened between him and me, I have to tell you was ultimately rock bottom Not allowed to see my Mum I needed her more than most people will ever know He beat me to a pulp, busted my nose all with one angry blow He went away to Amsterdam and boasted about all the gammy prozzies He bought me odd clothes once and demanded I paraded in my new swim cosies’ He held my throat upon a wall and smashed into my ribs All because I was eleven years old and told a few little fibs He brought home different women and each one I expected was the one But he’d find fault in each of them and that was my motherly figure gone Terrified of what mood he would be in when he’d return on home That was hardly ever though as I spent most of my childhood alone So upset, victimised sick of perverted, physical, mental, emotional abuse Is where drink, drugs, self harm, ending myself thoughts were all about to be introduced He always called me fat and ugly and humiliated me in front of others Even in front of his family and his on the job; charm lured lovers I loved hurting myself and dragging the knife onto my shaking wrist No one could hurt me anymore than that; not even that maniacs fist Final blow fourteen, he shouted to me I was not washing the dishes right I shouted back, he followed; pinned me down and grabbed my child neck real tight Screaming and raging he would kill me and that I could not ever escape Told social services again but they would not act unless I claimed rape I refused to go back and headed to my mummy to claim my life again Goodbye forever haunted years, thank you daddy as now I have issues against most men Someone told me you’ll grow old alone in a dark room which I know is true You had your chance and you’ll sure as hell need me before I could ever need or want you