Happy New Year Again

Happy new year and still fighting Wrestling with confusion in thought A mind restless with anticipation Fluttering heart aligned in fear Happy new year and still dreading That moment I still don’t know No progress seems to have been Pushed each by prevailing wind Happy new year and still wanting How much time do I think I have The same dream has been for years Ending soon in decades run Happy new year and still hurting Licking my wounds a constant Feeling the heart of bitter distrust Though not sure the origin Happy new year and still waiting As if this somehow brings solace A pin prick to the infected finger With a rusting nail of dirt Happy new year and still here Wanting that change to come Hope has not yet abandoned A string soul that lives on