Hakeem Olajuwon Said "pants"
I was standing in a store
getting veggies and cheese
when commotion, nay, uproar
made me drop my canned peas.
Picking the can off the floor,
trying to understand,
I searched for the uproar's core
as I fingered my can.
Then I saw it, just a head
but one that meant so much,
and froze up, alive but dead,
as I cradled my lunch.
The Olajuwon! Hakeem!
The Houston Rockets' ray
of light known as The Dream
was lumbering my way.
He came right down my aisle and
he stopped right next to me!
It's possible I smiled as
I saw he too had cheese.
Why wouldn't he continue
to the rest of the shop?
I held my breath, I turned blue,
why on earth did he stop?
Then a word passed his lips and
quickly entered my ears.
"Pants," he said, and away ran.
The Dream had disappeared.
I contemplated later
as I stood in my nook,
what did Dream mean, that baiter;
was I a fish he took?
Because I felt like a fish,
I could not breathe on land.
This would drive me insane-ish.
"I have to understand!"
Did The Dream refer to his
stylish pants that he wore?
Was he commenting on this
less stylish pair I bore?
It's embarrassing but true
that he might have said "pass."
I must've looked like a fool
in my unstylish pants.
I resigned myself with sighs,
very perplexed, it's true,
eating my veggie-cheese pie
and appearing confused.
Gays? Abortion? Bomb Iraq?
Some things we'll always ask
though we hear no answers back
and Hakeem "Dream" said "Pants."
Copyright © Zach Kaplan | Year Posted 2009
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