Had To Get This Off My Chest
There is something inside me that is afraid.
I'm not sure what it is, but it makes me fade.
I think its from what I learned as a kid, it was rough.
From a young age, I saw my best wasn't good enough.
I was never great at sports, but I had my good games.
No matter what I did, I was the one everyone blames.
I remember one time, we were down by a lot,
I went in and made every single basket I shot.
We ended up winning that game and I was the cause.
But no one said good job, they pointed out my flaws.
That was the best game I ever had.
But when I got home, I cried because I was sad.
In high school, it happened the same way.
I had the best football game I could ever play.
But what they talked about was when I made one mistake.
At my best, it still wasn't enough, I mean who did I forsake?
In grade school I was so nervous I stuttered when I read aloud.
I was nervous because they ridiculed me, so I was shy in the crowd.
They also ridiculed me and said I was over weight.
Maybe I did have a small gut, but I was only eight.
When I was 23, I lost all my weight and my stomach was flat.
But its sad, I never saw a skinny person in the mirror, I was always fat.
Do you know what its like to have a self-image that is distorted?
No matter how skinny I get, my minds will never support it.
It feels like all my accomplishments in life are hollow.
I just can't believe I still let it bother me, its hard to swallow.
Copyright © Chris Matt | Year Posted 2011
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