Gunfighter Ballad For a Modern World

He was the world’s last gun fighter
And he always worked in drag
Carrying his six shooters 
In a special velvet bag.

No boots and spurs to jingle 
As in to town he rode,
Just patent leather sling backs 
High heeled and open toed.
He always arrived early 
Before the heat of the sun
Always so very careful
His mascara didn’t run.

And when he’d done the job,
Left the body on the ground,
He always left so quickly,
Never ever hung around.
The world’s last gunfighter;
He always earned his fee,
And always in the morning so 
As not to disturb his Earl Grey tea.

Then he carefully slipped back 
Into his other life;
A gas fitter in Cheltenham
With two kids and a wife,
While the police of the world,
Who really didn’t know
Hunted the femme fatale
Of  his alter ego.

When the next summons came
In the want ads of the Times
He’d don his Dior dresses
And kill just one more time.
Well it helped to pay the mortgage 
And kept food on the table
And a mans got to do 
Just what he’s really able.

He was the world’s last gun fighter
And he always worked in drag
Carrying his six shooters 
In a special velvet bag
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

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Volumes Avatar
October 7, 2022 at 12:35 PM
Loved it Terry. So witty and cleverly written.
Ireland Avatar
October 9, 2022 at 3:01 AM
Thanks Wendy - is he out there still?
Hankins Avatar
October 7, 2022 at 9:07 AM
(chuckling) Superb, Terry. I kept laughing all the way to the end. Your creative really came shining through. I loved the line "... a mans got to do Just what he's really able."
Ireland Avatar
October 9, 2022 at 3:02 AM
Thanks Milton - life's a bitch at times, aint it?
Logan Avatar
October 7, 2022 at 6:09 AM
This sounds like it'd make a good movie script, Terry. Not so far in left field that it wouldn't be a true story. Your imagination ran with it.
Ireland Avatar
October 9, 2022 at 3:02 AM
Thanks Jenna
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