guilt
guilt. Guilt guilt
my very bodily make up
my life’s Romance after romance.
Every roadmap has led to this single moment
dark, black sludge that starts slowly at the toes
slowly makes its way over and on top of my feet
crawling up and over my calves
why is it so thick like that?
Trying to move just an inch but it won’t let me budge
but continues to consume my body.
It is to my belly now.
How did it happen so ing fast?
Despite being scared at least I can still breathe.
It hasn’t gone into my chest just yet
what is that touching my chin?
oh ! It’s still here.
Hard to ignore now.
Feels like it’s taken over my life.
I try to push it away but it fully consumes me anyway
all because I am happy and enjoying life.
Why is there pain from feeling the utmost joy and pleasure in freedom?
Why can’t I just breathe easy?
But instead the dark black sludge is in my lungs,
each breath more labored than the last one
It has me cemented to the ground
while glistening in the sun and moon light
people gape in awe of how beautiful it looks on the outside,
but if I dare let them in,
they’d be stuck here too,
with nowhere to run or move.
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