guilt

guilt. Guilt guilt my very bodily make up my life’s Romance after romance. Every roadmap has led to this single moment dark, black sludge that starts slowly at the toes slowly makes its way over and on top of my feet crawling up and over my calves why is it so thick like that? Trying to move just an inch but it won’t let me budge but continues to consume my body. It is to my belly now. How did it happen so ing fast? Despite being scared at least I can still breathe. It hasn’t gone into my chest just yet what is that touching my chin? oh ! It’s still here. Hard to ignore now. Feels like it’s taken over my life. I try to push it away but it fully consumes me anyway all because I am happy and enjoying life. Why is there pain from feeling the utmost joy and pleasure in freedom? Why can’t I just breathe easy? But instead the dark black sludge is in my lungs, each breath more labored than the last one It has me cemented to the ground while glistening in the sun and moon light people gape in awe of how beautiful it looks on the outside, but if I dare let them in, they’d be stuck here too, with nowhere to run or move.