Jadazzle United Poet Rhyme

Growing Old Disgracefully

Getting old is no fun believe me - I thought it would just be a breeze
But now I have to wear 'tena ladies' cos I leak when I cough, laugh or sneeze
My husband now uses Viagra - I steal one when he doesn't see
Slip one in my first morning cuppa, stops my biscuits going soft in my tea
No longer have boobies like 'Jordan' they've drooped, sagged and gone south
It doesn't stop me from smiling, gleaming dentures are fixed in my mouth
I need glasses to find my glasses - they were sitting on top of my head
I've forgotten to turn on my hearing aid so I can't hear a darn word that you've said
I think someone said my memory is fading , That is a load of old tosh
No I haven't got a beer belly, My trousers shrank in the wash

19th May 2014
Written by Jan Allison & Darren Watson
~ submitted to  ‘ Birthday and Aging Contest’ ~
Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire’

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Genevieve Mika-Stevens August 26, 2015 at 10:00 AM OOps - think I see my mother here - and I'm next in line. Very humorous and allowed me to start the day with a laugh....

Robert Nehls July 13, 2014 at 1:44 PM This is so funny you two. So well written and sadly so true. Well we mays as well laugh at it because it certainly isn't going away. Very well crafted and thanks for the sweet reminder.... Robert. Jadazzle United July 13, 2014 at 3:05 PM Thanks for the lovely comment Robert:-) Hugs Jan xxx

David Brown July 10, 2014 at 5:39 PM Very, very funny piece. The last line brought back something I heard once on a golf course, one fellow told another he didn't have a weight problem, he had a 'furniture problem'. His 'chest was in his drawers'. Thanks for sharing! David Jadazzle United July 10, 2014 at 5:46 PM LOL David thanks for dropping by. Hugs Jan xxx

Poet Destroyer A June 9, 2014 at 4:22 PM I can do this forever... LOL.. :) Linda Jadazzle United June 9, 2014 at 5:43 PM me too lol I need to smile at the moment :-( Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A June 8, 2014 at 2:15 PM :) PD Jadazzle United June 9, 2014 at 3:18 PM :-) Thanks Linda xx Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A May 31, 2014 at 8:48 AM THE WELCOME MAT----- That is what I am talking about, a few poets hate what we do, But, Jan, it keeps the new poets interested. My time is limit on here these days, and having to come back and read the comments on my comments, kind of kills the joy I had before. Sometimes, a few comments, on my comment are worth the trip, (LIKE THIS ONE) some take my time away from what I really want to do here on the soup. I will leave it at that. Thank you Jan, once again for being you... Jadazzle United May 31, 2014 at 6:12 PM :-) to coin a phrase I heard when I was in the US - 'Your Welcome' :-) Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A May 31, 2014 at 8:07 AM Anytime Jadazzle, I enjoy supporting all here at the soup... Linda Jadazzle United May 31, 2014 at 8:30 AM You always make comments on poems Linda - it was such a joy when i was a new member to be welcomed by you and Anne lise and Skat - we need more people like you on here! Hugs Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A May 29, 2014 at 6:11 PM JADAZZLE,, Double Congrats on Carolyn’s birthday contest. Many smiles, on its future feature in her birthday booklet. XOX~ Linda Jadazzle United May 30, 2014 at 1:10 AM Thanks as ever for you support Linda. hugs Jan xxx

Deborah Shiells May 29, 2014 at 7:28 AM Hi Jan and Darren, This was absolutely hysterical!!!! HAHAHA... Loved it!! Wonderful read!! Congrats on your win my friends and thank you for sharing this with us. Love and Peace, Deborah Jadazzle United May 29, 2014 at 10:19 AM We do have so much fun Deborah and I think this is reflected in our work together. Hugs as ever my friend. Jan xxx

Paul Callus May 27, 2014 at 10:00 AM This is so good!!! Really enjoyed it! Hope you do remember you wrote this!! Congrats on a lovely win:) // paul Jadazzle United May 27, 2014 at 12:49 PM We have SUCH fun when we write Paul and I hope this is reflected in our poems - i love this will make it a favourite in case I forget we wrote it. Hugs as ever Jan xxx

Dr.Ram Mehta May 27, 2014 at 5:38 AM Congratulations on your fine win, jadazzle Jadazzle United May 27, 2014 at 12:48 PM Thanks dr Mehta for your lovely comment. Hugs Jan xxx

Skat A May 26, 2014 at 8:41 PM Jadazzle, Congratulations, in Carolyn's "Birthday and Aging Humor" contest. Love ~SKAT~ Jadazzle United May 27, 2014 at 12:48 PM Thanks for dropping by Skat - I loved your poem with Darren. Hugs Jan xxx

Joyce Johnson May 26, 2014 at 7:11 PM Fine collaboration. Congratulations on your win. Love, Joyce Jadazzle United May 27, 2014 at 12:47 PM Thanks for dropping by Joyce. Hugs Jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire May 26, 2014 at 4:37 PM Dear Jan and Darren, You did a fine job on this poem. Congratulations on your win and thanks for participating in a contest to wish some special ladies happy birthday. Love, Carolyn Jan Allison May 26, 2014 at 5:15 PM Carolyn we had SUCH fun creating this poem for your contest - it's our first placement since forming jadazzle united so it means a great deal to us both. Hugs Jan xxxxx

Andrea Dietrich May 20, 2014 at 3:45 PM hahaha. I have not seen too many of these yet, but this one is hands down the best I have seen yet!! Jadazzle United May 20, 2014 at 4:31 PM Thanks for the lovely comments Andrea - We have so much fun when we collaborate and yet again another poem that flowed so effortlessly between us. I can't believe the incredible relationship Darren and I have since we began collaborating I am the luckiest lady in the world :-) Hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud May 20, 2014 at 12:08 PM this is a rib-tickler finely done with tinges of memory lapses.. you both rock my socks!.. huggs Jadazzle United May 20, 2014 at 4:28 PM Oh Nette thats a lovely comment thank you so much. We have such fun creating poems together. i am so pleased you enjoy reading them, Hugs Jan xxx

Farhana Akter May 19, 2014 at 11:44 PM Nice Jadazzle United May 20, 2014 at 10:36 AM Thanks for dropping by Farhana. hugs Jan xxx

Saba Khan May 19, 2014 at 10:57 PM I loveeeeee this poem!!! Specially "i need glasses 2 find my glasses" hahaha..i wear them as well but i'm not old ;-) this is possibly one of my favourite poems...GOD BLESS YOU !! Lots of WISHES for u :-) Jadazzle United May 20, 2014 at 10:37 AM Thanks for the lovely comments Saba. hugs Jan xxx

Tim Smith May 19, 2014 at 10:46 PM Another gem...kudos Jadazzle United May 20, 2014 at 10:37 AM Cheers Tim hugs Jan xxxx

Debbie Guzzi May 19, 2014 at 7:46 PM Please let us know what you want in your contest there are no criterion given? Topic? form? # of lines? Light & Love Jadazzle United May 20, 2014 at 10:36 AM Hi Debbie Darren has done a blog about the contest called 'gone with the wind' thanks for dropping by Jan x

Skat A May 19, 2014 at 5:08 PM Jadazzle, this is a great entry.... I imagine it was a fun write....SKAT Jadazzle United May 19, 2014 at 5:11 PM Thanks Skat for the lovely comment - we have great fun when we write and I hope it shines through in our words. Hugs Jan xxxx