Growing Hatred

im tired of the same cycle it never ends, only recycles i can never have the one thing i truly longed for what's the point of even trying even mother nature has become a whore everyday im slowly dying and the companion i prayed for never shows only tricks they are, lurking in shadows just want to be left alone my hatred towards this earth begins to make my bones groan God does not care what i want. he only wants me for himself...a slave to this endless game. i could care less if it means the end to my loneliness that has seeped in during my days. im tired of war. in tired of trying. just want someone to hold in an embrace while we are both dying but no matter how hard i try.. its a god damn lie no comfort for me.. even with all the alibi i hate this cycle and i hate this life