Grief

If I could drink my life away, I would... If I could smoke my life away, I should... I shouldn’t think this way No, not today... There’s no point in living this lie, this lie Or lying in front of your face while high I’m a truth teller... I feel like a jailer... I can’t deny... I’m feeling high I’m not shy... If I try to fly... There’s no point in lying There’s no reason to cry If I did, I would wave goodbye To dying...to dying...to dying... I died alive in your arms tonight, night I died in your arms of delight with might I’m emotional as heck...this apprehension inside is the ascension of me I could kiss your neck of tension...if only I could peck away your insanity...vanity... Attempting to understand love But, I ate that weed of roving above Weed of roving that I can’t think of I am as high as a white and black dove I am grief-stricken... Where have you been? Lost in my silhouetted lullabies Of your abominable lies... Sober in shamelessness No longer in hopelessness Grief can just get the hell out of my brain I want to remain sane...sane...sane... My thoughts go down the drain I am rinsing away my muse with rain Sunshine is what I gain Sunshine is what I gain So, refrain from driving all of me insane Focused on freedom awaiting His kingdom Lonely as a brazen buck Living life gives me good luck I am learning to let go and let live Nothing left to give...after giving you all of me Grief-stricken by the lack of craving happiness eventually A moment in time Wanders in its prime And sober in its frame You wonder why I am the one to blame The one to blame The one to blame The one who came Undone in your life of strife All my life All my life All my life Self-control - I face Patience - I embrace I have been spiraling, spiraling Negative thots oh so enthralling Yet, I’m stuck... Ran out of luck In grief.. Give me relief Somewhere out there, These pangs of scars are painfully bare Somehow... I need His love right now I’m torn Oh no, oh no I’m forlorn And that is so I’m sober and I’m sorrowful A tomorrow would be better than your yesterday Make the ugly in me beautiful I don’t want to give in to dismay...oh no, not today If I could drink my life away, I would... If I could smoke my life away, I should... I shouldn’t think this way No, not today... I say don’t do it, I pray I’m breaking bit by bit, okay? I’m suffering and getting worse I need a tragedy in reverse... I’m a gift and a curse... I rehearse a gladness that cures All negativity - It’s His love from above That’s where I rove What about you? Do you believe too? Maybe somebody could set you free I need someone to rescue me from me This bitter grief... Needs your relief... Now... Somehow... Now, I had to let you go Long ago...long ago... You were my addiction My affliction...causing division It was your mission To ruin my ambition And my self-esteem And I want to scream Aloud... In a quiet crowd... In a quiet town on my own I guess I was meant to be all alone