Grades and Tests

No one ever told me to enjoy my childhood. No one ever forced me to enjoy my childhood. They graciously let me study for my tests. Tests that contain circles and an X here and there. Paper that tells me that I’m not wasting my time, being a teacher’s pet. Once in a while, the teacher would call me to her desk. I would hesitate, because she knows. She’s about to tell me that I didn’t make any friends this year. And that she was going to punish me for that. She’s about to show me a list of the people that hate me. Of the people who gave up on being friends with me. A failing grade. I would eventually make my way to the front. Taking even, steady steps, even as I feel wobbly. A smile, and the words I’ve been hearing my whole school career. But I’m frowning, because the bell rang, and recess is here. Kids running around. And around and around.