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Goodbye To Innocence

Another night...
     the familiar sound of footsteps...
          coming down the hall.
Fear overtook me...
     as tears ran down my face.
I prayed that he would continue on by...
     but it was not to be.
As so many other nights...
     my heart pounded so hard...
          I felt like human prey...
               trapped with no escape...
                    the hungry beast closing in.
Next I heard my bedroom door creak,,,
     as it slowly opened.
I then felt his hot breath...
     with an odor of stale alcohol and tobacco mixed in.
I tried to pretend I was asleep...
     but all my attempts to stop this attack were futile.
I once thought that I would grow up...
     find my prince charming...
get married...have children...
     then live happily ever after.
Now those dreams have been shattered.
I no longer felt like my daddy's princess.
How could he do those horrible things to me?
Try as I might...the years have gone by...
     still my past seeps into every fiber
          of my being.
Like a poison invading every avenue of my life...
     I can't forget...
          I can't let go...
What am I to do?
How do I find peace...
     How do I find Joy...
          Above all...how can I feel love?





                          P.R. Deremer

Copyright © Pam Deremer | Year Posted 2020

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Krish Radhakrishna Date: 8/22/2021 1:36:00 PM This is a sad story! the victim in this story should say “stop”! and step out of this! It is important to sit with a trusted professional and talk!! The victim should not feel guilty or low!! the person inflicting this is the one who should suffer shame! not the victim!! staying in this frame of mind is victory to the perpetuator!! so step out! and confront!! Login to Reply

Mystic Rose Rose Date: 11/14/2020 5:42:00 PM My heart cleaves for you as I read this, I hope you found the healing love you seek, xo Login to Reply Pam Deremer Date: 11/15/2020 12:21:00 PM Thank you for your kind words.

Evelyn Judy Buehler Date: 11/13/2020 9:02:00 PM Through God's love and counseling, I pray you find peace and healing from the nightmare of the past. All my best, Evelyn Login to Reply Pam Deremer Date: 11/14/2020 11:56:00 AM Thank you very much for your very nice comment.

Paul Murray Date: 11/13/2020 7:28:00 PM I can hear the pain and fear Trauma counseling to healing Login to Reply Pam Deremer Date: 11/14/2020 11:55:00 AM Thank you for your comment.

Sigrid Ermine Date: 11/5/2020 1:42:00 PM God, I'm so sorry, Pam.... Terrible, can't perpetrators understand, - their high moment impedes your entire life. Remember, as no doubt you do, you are worthy of love. You are capable of giving love also to those who deserve it. It's a lot to learn, I also am having a steep learning curve, after swearing off romantic love for eight years during my thirties. All the best, Pam. A very courageous poem. Login to Reply Pam Deremer Date: 11/5/2020 2:04:00 PM Thank you so much for your comment.