Going Under

Am I destined to be forever in pain? Will any smile of mine be real? I've fallen so deep beneath the surface, that I can feel the warmth of the sun no more. My life is nothing, I am nothing. My past and present are full of lies, only with more to come in the future. This is everyday for me, Pain and tears nothing more. The birds song is sung for everyone, but me. It lies so near, My escape from this darkness. But I live in a prison and I can't grasp it, Im trapped behind these invisible bars. I reach for the happiness, I feel it so close, but I get pulled under, and the pain floods over me again. And Im sure if I break the surface, and I feel the happiness for once in my life, everything that blocked me from the world, will be shattered. But how do you break invisible bars? What is it to feel something thats so new to you? Theres nothing I can do, Im being pulled down again. Down to the deep darkness of nothing, Im going under and i wont be back.