God Hates Me

In a past life I must have killed a priest, 
 or could it be that on flesh i did feast?
Maybe I brutally raped a God ordained nun.
 Because in this life I am being shunned.

My kittens have died, one every other day.
 Three total and one other will not get that pardon or stay.
Feline leukemia, so all my cats will surely die.
 The only humane thing is to euthanize, and so I cry.

Lois, then Jasper, next Quagmire, now Emmett too, 
 The mama cat, and their older brother will die, how can we get through?
Hopefully the three orphans weren't exposed enough, 
 Four weeks until we'll know, why does life have to be so tough?

The mama, Maxine, was named after my grandma who died, 
 the kids and Illyanna got her for me, because all I did was cry.
A year and a half of joy and love she brought to me.
 Why does she and all the kittens have to die, is what I plea.

What have I done to have a life where I struggle every day?
 I'm not a bad person, I'm kind and loving, how much more must we pay?
A mother, who didn't want me for a while, many men who used and abused me.
 At times like this, it makes me want to give up on life, to turn and flee.

They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle at one time, 
 I feel like its a lie, I feel unjustly convicted of a horrible crime.
Today I have to choose, let my animals suffer or give them the mercy of death.
 To bury six members of my family in seven days, will leave me bereft.

How much torture and pain must one person or family have to go through?
 This isn't some fiction story, every word I write is nothing but true.
Every passing minute, more of my heart breaks piece by piece.
 I don't smoke, or drink, or do drugs, or have sex, so I have no release.

Let me wake, and it be nothing more than a horrible dream, 
 I can't take much more of this crappy bad luck, its too extreme.
God, if you're there, why are you doing this to all of us?
 I've always been told You are someone we can trust!

Please God, please don't take anything else away.
 My heart and soul whither as the ends start to fray.
Tell me what you want me to do and I will gladly obey.
 Just please, Dear God, I can't handle the agonizing dismay.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009



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Date: 7/14/2009 6:39:00 AM
Ok now I'm gonna try to remember what I just erased ...I think I said thanks some more for your comments and I guess that was it...oh yeah...Kris(unconventional) :) I'll remember that:)
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Date: 7/14/2009 6:35:00 AM
well Aleera where should I start well first I want you to know God doesn't hate you you know how much you love your son? well God loved us so much he sent His son to die for us...all we have to do is believe,repent(change)of our sins and ask Jesus to be the Lord of our life... my life has been amazing ever since I truly accepted Jesus into my heart...I really appreciate all your comments...it seems you've been through a lot...the title of this one caught my eye...well I had to shorten my comment
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Date: 5/5/2009 1:53:00 PM
dearest friend im an animal lover like you,i have a pet i love so much,a dog,i know one day she will have to die,like i have to die,its not God's fault dear friend,dont be angry at him,i know its only human to be angry,but if we loose all in life,we musnt loose GOD. its hard for you i know and this poem describes so well your pain,but pray and you feel much better,we are not made to live here my friend,we are just campers here,and we all shall meet again in the land of no sorrow
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Date: 5/4/2009 5:42:00 AM
a powerful poem, sorry to hear of your loss, I am speechless my thoughts and heart are with you at this time, all i can recomend is to read Job he lost his wife his family all his stock everything but he got a hundrend fold back double of everything back, its satan that comes to kill steal and destroy he will try anything to spoil our faith in God I am sure going to stand against him even more for this satan is a liar and a thief how dare he come against you, I will pray for you God bless you.
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Date: 5/4/2009 5:38:00 AM
Hello Precious Aleera! What would be my thoughts towards Your kittys!? Find some penicillin of any form; break it in have and dissolve it within milk or water-if they do not drink it? Then spoonfeed it to them! And they shall most likely live after a few days of doing this! And as far as You~remember the story of "Job" and don't get up on "God, faith & hope!!?"~Blessings & Warmth To You & Yours Always, John!!":) Bye ~
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