Notes About The Poem

Rewritten so the robots can put it to music.

Enjoy.... Yeeehaw!

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Listen to poem:

Go Grandma

Isn’t that my grandma standing right there in that queue
Where that queue is heading to I do not have a clue
So I don’t know why Grandma’s there or what she plans to do
But I do know, if I don’t know, then frankly… nor do you

The queue is moving slowly, just one step now and again
But just once in a while it seems to move on nine or ten
I still don’t get the reason Grandma’s standing in that queue
But I do know, if I don’t know, then frankly… nor do you

The attraction, I don’t get it
Why do they stand in line
The answer? You can bet it
Isn’t destined to be mine
A little satisfaction
I would get if only I
Could figure out the reason 
That my grandma seems so high

I’ve noticed that my grandma’s spent some time upon her hair
And when I look I see that there’s more older ladies there
They all seem keen but I can’t see, the reason for this queue
But I do know, if I don’t know, then frankly… nor do you

I know it’s Grandmas’s business and I wouldn’t want to pry
She’s putting on her lipstick and I cannot figure why
I don’t know why she’s using drops to make her eyes more blue
But I do know, if I don’t know, then frankly… nor do you

The attraction, I don’t get it
Why do they stand in line
The answer? You can bet it
Isn’t destined to be mine
A little satisfaction
I would get if only I
Could figure out the reason 
That my grandma seems so high

I simply had to find out what my gran was all about 
Could she be mad, confused, or should she not have been let out
I snuck in just behind her and we moved on with the queue 
And when she turned and spoke to me, I got myself a clue.,.

She said, I’m not so old; I’m eighty years and then a few
And, Darlin’, by the looks of it, I feel younger than you
But I got word that men are sitting upfront of this queue…
It’s a dollar for a kiss…… and so I’ve paid up front for two

My dear old grandma winked at me and begged me for a buck
She said, “Now I can see the front, I can’t believe my luck.”
I had to ask why did she want a dollar out of me
She said, “I’ve paid up front for two……  But now I fancy three.

“Your gramps and me had sixty years of faithful, married bliss
but now he’s gone, it’s been a while since I enjoyed a kiss
But one of them there fellas looks like David Hasselhoff
If only I had known… I would’ve left my knickers off!”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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Crandall Avatar
August 11, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Great, funny, and suspenseful song.
Goldsmith Avatar
August 11, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Way tooooooo much creative fun here in this write. Great Ending.. Grandma never tell your age. You see I am only 25. Hahaha!!! Thanks for the laugh... Have a fun day writing away..........
Flood Avatar
August 11, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I had in mind here, that if granny is in her 80s now, then she was a child of the 60s… so that last line wasn’t entirely gratuitous (honest, your honour). Glad you enjoyed, Paula
Etgen-Baker Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I can't stop laughing, Terry! Each line is humorous and your poem is engaging until the very end...David Hasselhof? Brilliant.
Flood Avatar
August 10, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Wow, you were quick off the mark there, Sara. I was still checking that the mp3 file was good when your comment came through. Hope you didn’t miss it; Soup has some weird rule that you have to post your poem before you can add the mp3 file. So annoying! However…. I’m glad you enjoyed Grandma’s exploits. Terry
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