Giddy Ma's Apple Pie Recipe

I got Giddy Ma's cookbook to find a user-friendly recipe Because I was inclined to make a deep-dish apple pie Pastry baking is not my bailiwick, so I ask for immunity I want to be honest; there's no virtue connected to a lie After all, I am as good as Betty Crocker, in my opinion The recipe was effortless; even a child could figure out What could happen? It's too simple to wreck, no doubt And I did have most of the ingredients I needed to begin I inspected the fruit, making sure they were crisp and firm The ones I had were a week old and had begun to turn soft Most are covered with bruises and have ripened full-term They weren't fit to eat but to be tossed into a hog's trough As I checked off other items, I needed to make my dessert I had no pastry flour, though I did have some cornstarch After a few substitutes, there was no disaster I could avert Once in the hot oven, all I could do was wait and watch The oven didn't get hot, so the pie's filling never set up When the crust didn't brown, I removed it for a closer look The juice was so loose I could suck it through a sippy cup After following the recipe as laid out in Giddy Ma's book Suffice it to say, once I served it, there was plenty leftover There was no need to freeze it, as no one consumed it later Oh, and the dough was thick because I didn't have a roller Giddy Ma won't know, but now I'm her number-one hater