Giddy Ma's Apple Pie Recipe
I got Giddy Ma's cookbook to find a user-friendly recipe
Because I was inclined to make a deep-dish apple pie
Pastry baking is not my bailiwick, so I ask for immunity
I want to be honest; there's no virtue connected to a lie
After all, I am as good as Betty Crocker, in my opinion
The recipe was effortless; even a child could figure out
What could happen? It's too simple to wreck, no doubt
And I did have most of the ingredients I needed to begin
I inspected the fruit, making sure they were crisp and firm
The ones I had were a week old and had begun to turn soft
Most are covered with bruises and have ripened full-term
They weren't fit to eat but to be tossed into a hog's trough
As I checked off other items, I needed to make my dessert
I had no pastry flour, though I did have some cornstarch
After a few substitutes, there was no disaster I could avert
Once in the hot oven, all I could do was wait and watch
The oven didn't get hot, so the pie's filling never set up
When the crust didn't brown, I removed it for a closer look
The juice was so loose I could suck it through a sippy cup
After following the recipe as laid out in Giddy Ma's book
Suffice it to say, once I served it, there was plenty leftover
There was no need to freeze it, as no one consumed it later
Oh, and the dough was thick because I didn't have a roller
Giddy Ma won't know, but now I'm her number-one hater
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