Gender Dysphoria

Faulty biology adds a perfect suffering
Tears in my throat leave me weakly stuttering
Fear, pain, and angst leaves my body cold and shuddering
Dark thoughts make me unconscious, slumbering
I ask about your day and leave your soul merely ignored
A lack of words, useless screams onto the lord
Of which I lack belief, although desperation cold
Closes shut my eyelids and embraces my own soul

No one seems to notice all the pain which I withhold

Abort physical pain and the infinite dysphoria
Add the opposite of pleasure and orgasmic euphoria
The result is numbness in an infinite dystopia
I see 2 men in the mirror like I'd suffer from dyplopia
I feel sickness for myself as a man with autophobia
I vomit blood, I've cracked my skull because of nausea
My lack of genitalia leaves me with phantom limbs
I can't really describe it more than limbs that don't exist

Will I ever be okay, or will this pain persist?
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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Johnson Avatar
January 23, 2018 at 10:01 PM
Why and what and Oh My God. Why do I have to feel so odd. He and she asked about their bod. I respond in kind and then just nod. Peace. :)
Crossed Avatar
May 8, 2018 at 9:03 AM
I appreciate the feedback
Pigeon Tart Avatar
December 16, 2017 at 11:25 PM
A heart wrenching pen Kevin. Not an easy thing to write about, your visceral eloquence is top notch. xomo
Crossed Avatar
December 16, 2017 at 11:59 PM
Thank you, Maureen! I am very flattered by this. I do admit that I had to look up the meaning of those words since I am not experienced with such words when it comes to the English language. I am glad that they are somewhat enjoyable while I can express myself and store these emotions elsewhere.
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