Gateway To Forgiveness
I never meant to hurt you!
I would rather die than hurt those closest to me
I am so sorry!!
I can not explain why my own feelings consumed my very soul
I was selfish I know
Only thinking of myself
and my pain at the time
I hurt so bad inside
Resentment...
Bitterness..
Anger..
three emotions took homage in my soul
I felt I was so alone at the time....
I feared reaching out
How could anyone understand?
What I struggled myself to understand
I was so lost
So confused
So misunderstood
My mind played tricks on me
negativity consumed every fiber of my being
I incapable of being positive
Incapable of thinking positive
I was poisoned by evil words of others
and broken in half by hurtful actions
I became someone who I grew to hate
I told myself lies everyday
If I could learn to believe others lies
I felt it would hurt less
I can now look back....
I know I was wrong now....
I am sorry....
I felt I was dealing with the evil that consumed me
I was only causing myself more agony
but I did the best I knew then
I was a baby girl trying to grow up
in a world I felt I never belonged
I am so sorry.....
but my feelings were real them
I wore them on my sleeves
It was how I felt at the time
I just struggled so hard to love myself
But deep down I always loved you
I never meant to hurt you!!
I should have cried on your shoulder
Instead I cried in my room alone
tears falling streaking across a piece of paper
of ink smeared with so much pain
I trusted an empty sheet of paper
to keep my secrets
When I should have always trusted you!
I should have came to you!!
I am so sorry!!
Chrissy M. Pierce 2012,
Copyright © Chrissy Pierce-Guzman | Year Posted 2012
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