Robert L. Hinshaw Poet Couplet

Fruit Cakes

Puzzled are the recipients of a fruit cake from Santa Claus this year!
Seems that Yuletide ain't complete 'less you git one to bring you cheer!

Fruit cakes are much maligned and I'm here to set the record straight!
However, I must admit 'tis one of the most bizarre things I ever ate!

Even a mediocre chef can be very creative in concoctin' such confection,
Tossin' in all kinds of dubious stuff and whippin' it up to perfection!

Yule never know what Yule find when into a fruit cake you slice!
You just have to take yer chances!  'Tis a proverbial roll o' the dice!

Should you choose not to eat the thing for fear of breakin' a tooth,
There are numerous functional uses fer this lowly delicacy, forsooth!

They make a wonderful door stop, foot stool or a very formidable missile,
When hurled at yer neighbor's yappin' mutt, that ever makes you bristle!

This is a not so subtle reminder so as in your mind there'll be no doubt,
If you're givin' fruit cakes as gifts next year, please include me out!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

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David Williams January 7, 2014 at 4:38 PM Hey Bob, it's been a while since I visited and I send my apologies, but I am delighted to read this gem of yours as always you entertain…excellent write…David

Nette Onclaud January 7, 2014 at 7:16 AM crazy, crazy spill of an overload of the usual holiday sweet i likewise am not fiond of.. chuckles, bob.. huggs

Joyce Johnson January 3, 2014 at 10:03 PM You have never been lucky enough to have a piece of mine. My daughter craves my fruitcake so I make some every year. Cute poem, though. Love, Joyce

David Fisher January 2, 2014 at 8:45 PM This is a lot of fun. Reminds me how I felt about those things as a kid...until I met, and tasted a German stolen cake, made in a local bakery.

Toquyen Harrell January 1, 2014 at 3:28 PM Haha, this reminds me of the fruit cake I bought for the office party. Hardly anyone touched it :). I like this, Bob. Never knew that fruit cakes have such a fine reputation, lol. Have a happy New Year, my funny friend and enjoy it all year :))

Sara Kendrick January 1, 2014 at 3:26 PM Just checking to see if I can comment on your work..I don't see a red eye next to your name but just an eye..I think that there is one next to everyone's name..I guess that I could click on that if I did not want you to visit my page..I haven't tried it..You might need to contact administration and ask what the purpose of that eye is...Sara

Jack Horne January 1, 2014 at 1:59 PM lol, thanks for a NY chuckle here, Bob. Love to you and Vera

Nette Onclaud December 31, 2013 at 5:03 PM bob, you got me cracking up again... a delightfully wicked write so apt for new year... i don;t partuciarly like fruitcake , so your piece doubled the fun.. have a swell 2014 with the family... huggs

Sara Kendrick December 31, 2013 at 5:15 AM Ahhh, you have never tasted ice box fruit cake though have you?..Enjoyed reading your creative work..They say that you are suppose to sprinkle it with a little wine for about a week then it eat..I wonder how that would be?...Thanks for the visit..Here's wishing you and Vera a wonderful year of all good things..Sara

Gautami Phookan December 31, 2013 at 3:57 AM Giggles for this delightful piece of writing! Glad to be visiting here today,, Have a blessed and a very happy new year, Bob!..huggs!

James Peranteau December 30, 2013 at 7:12 PM My dear Mr Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF......I do not not why any soul has such dislike for the 'Fruit Cake".....'septin' me mind ya ! *smiles* Great write sir ! Have a wonderful New Year ! Much Love, james

David Nickle Read December 30, 2013 at 7:05 PM Quality Sir, quality, I'm still grinning as I type, great poem. I hope you had a good Christmas. D.N.Read

Ilene Bauer December 27, 2013 at 3:55 PM hey bob! i love this poem - so funny and clever (i love the use of "yule" instead of "you'll" - genius!). i've always wondered why people hate fruitcakes so much, but i enjoyed your suggestions for alternate uses...hope you're enjoying this holiday season........ilene

Anne-Lise Andresen December 27, 2013 at 2:43 PM - A really immature fruit cake ...... lol ... - This cake is a traditional Christmas cake (?) - Hope teeth and stomach are absolutely perfect after the Christmas goodies... - oxox // Anne-Lise :)