From you '15 years from now'

What am I looking for, what am I hiding reunited with my past self, can't help but repent; did I lose myself or am I still finding, hoping for my tomorrow just to escape my present. Masked my troubles with so-called escapisms denied the truth that was embedded deep within; thoroughly washed away all my musings, mastered the art of self-loathin' Pushed and pulled with a force to reckon emptied myself into the realms of darkness; weighed my expectations as a means of life lesson, heard the pounding of my heart, too scared to witness. Everything indeed changes, as someone truly said change is the only 'constant' can I change myself that is the big question, can I truly face myself? the voices inside keep screaming to join the fragments, who will tell them that I am not broken but shelved. I don't need soldering, I need to embrace my flaws, my mistakes, my regrets, my wants; The only way to spiral out is to retrace, to acknowledge the unknown, to evade the haunts.