Forgive Me -Emotive Write For Contest

Bitter tears cascade down my face, hearing that you had taken your own life. Another teenage tragedy, I’m in dire straits - never again will we hear your playful laugh. The baby blues crept up on you so gradually leaving a tiny baby without a mother. We read about these terrible tragedies …. Someone’s father, mother, sister or brother. Your baby will have not be left alone, grandparents have willingly taken her. Now she is living in a brand new home; their lives are starting a new chapter Forgive me were the last words you said Death was the price you paid Contest- Forgiveness Sponsor - Craig Cornish My first attempt at a 'Modern' Sonnet 05~10~15
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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Vaso Avatar
January 1, 2016 at 1:02 AM
I bet you can guess what I spent tonight doing you amazing poetess!
Allison Avatar
January 1, 2016 at 6:45 AM
I dread to think lol but I'm so looking forward to seeing the result :-) hugs Jan xxlol
A. Sharma Avatar
October 13, 2015 at 1:26 AM
Wonderful poem Jan! Congrats on great win!
Allison Avatar
October 13, 2015 at 3:04 AM
Thanks Dr Sharma:-) hugs Jan xx
A  Avatar
October 10, 2015 at 12:03 PM
well done Jan.. SKAT
Allison Avatar
October 10, 2015 at 1:57 PM
Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx
Nunez Avatar
October 9, 2015 at 4:18 PM
I'm happy for you, Jan. Congrats! PS. I took Jim out of hiding for Jack...:-)
Allison Avatar
October 9, 2015 at 4:24 PM
Oh will drop by and thanks Kim:-) hugs jan xx
Y. Avatar
October 8, 2015 at 9:44 PM
Jan, congratulations on your win:-)Alexis
Allison Avatar
October 9, 2015 at 4:34 AM
Many thanks Alexis:-) hugs Jan xx
Haight Avatar
October 8, 2015 at 8:20 PM
Congratulations, Jan, on your win, for your modern Sonnet, so well-written on such a sad theme, but one which happens far too often. Hugs, Sandra
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2015 at 8:24 PM
Such a sad situation Sandra - I asked my hubby for a topic for the contest and he came up with suicide - after that I have no control where my must will take me:-( hugs jan xx
Tor Avatar
October 8, 2015 at 7:52 PM
Jan nice win.
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2015 at 7:59 PM
Thanks Michael:-) hugs jan xx
Puddifoot Avatar
October 8, 2015 at 5:59 PM
this certainly is an emotive write, jan, i'm glad it placed for you, and of course these sort of subjects fit so well into sonnets - congrats on your win in the contest!
Allison Avatar
October 8, 2015 at 6:06 PM
Thanks Charlotte this is a re=write of the original I struggled as i thought it had to be 'near or slant rhyme' but from reading the other poems in the list I could have stayed with my first attempt - I'm delighted to place with the revised version:-) hugs Jan xx
Beaufort Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 8:13 AM
Forgiveness--for someone to take their own life means they were ill and did not receive the care they needed. A big ouch. We can all benefit from some forgiveness from the crazy things we have done at times. Jan--you are something special!!
Allison Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 8:45 AM
You are so kind in your comments Duke:-) hugs Jan xx
Nunez Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 2:55 AM
Very sad and emotive indeed, Jan. I echo Demetrio's feelings. I think you got the form down pat, IMHO. Let's keep our fingers crossed. hugs!
Allison Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 4:06 AM
I'm not confident with the half rhyme/slant rhyme but i tried my best and I hope Craig likes the poem! :-) hugs Jan xx
Trifiatis Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 1:26 AM
A sad story that I wish never to have to tell it again for the loss of life is nothing to celebrate about. The poem strong that steers the emotions! Good luck, dear jan! Hugs
Allison Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 1:58 AM
Thanks Demetrios it is a very emotive write and sadly these tragedies do happen:-( hugs Jan xx
Laurie Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 7:57 PM
Could be a poem recited at any time around the world with the sad message that is still barely understood - good luck Jan - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 11:14 PM
Thanks Lindsay it must be terrible to be so depressed like that and to end your life feeling but tragically it happens:-( hugs Jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 3:58 PM
I love this one, Jan. You did a very good job with modern sonnet!!! And the subject matter is perfect for this one.
Allison Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 4:15 PM
I really struggled with this one as I am not familiar with slant rhyme but I have given it my best shot:-) hugs Jan xx
Callus Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 3:33 PM
What a sad tragedy! This could have been a case of post-natal depression. gl in the contest, Jan. Hugs // paul
Allison Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 3:40 PM
Yes definitely a case of post natal depression often referred to as the baby blues - a pure fiction write on my behalf but sadly it does happen:-( hugs jan xx
Smith Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 3:31 PM
Suicide is so sad Jan. Well a child losing a mother is sad too. Thank goodness the Grandparents stepped in.
Allison Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 3:39 PM
It's a sad scenario Tim - I asked my hubby for a topic to write and he came up with suicide and this is where my muse took me:-( hugs jan xx
Devnath  Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 1:35 PM
Extreme sadness cascades from the heart, a very sad story on forgiveness. A 7. Good luck in the contest my lovely friend. Loved always,bl
Allison Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 1:41 PM
Thanks Bl :-) hugs Jan xx
Konos Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 7:46 AM
captured elegantly the horror of it all
Allison Avatar
October 5, 2015 at 8:08 AM
It's a tough subject to write about - I asked my hubby for a topic to write about and he said suicide so this is the way my muse took me:-( hugs Jan xx
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