For the Love of Apollo
You were too beautiful for me.
Your song forever burning in my mind,
oh love, will they make a myth of us i wonder?
too light, too divine, too harsh
i was just a girl.
but my whole life i have only been yours.
i never learned to be anything else.
i have never loved another, yet you have never loved me
stealing secret trysts,
as you stick a dagger in my chest
and i call it love.
you are not forgiven.
oh, you are always forgiven
will you mourn me?
when i am ashes and you are still young,
and shining.
will you cry out my name in battle?
the mortal you would never stay with
you will see nations rise and fall,
will watch Achilles weep for Patroclus
and Medea’s crimes in the name of love.
and your name will live on for thousands of years.
they will forget my name the moment i reach Charon
I learned about her at the same time that I learned
about you and that your sheets were yellow, and that
drowning doesn’t always happen in the sea.
‘Cause I drowned in your eyes.
Sometimes drowning happens in a bed late at night with only memories to keep you company
What is this fire if not love
when i saw you i was made of broken glass
and you didn’t want blood on your hands
sometimes love isn’t soft or gentle
like your poems say it is
love is gritty and dirty and possessive- it’s curses.
because i am young and you are old.
and when they come for us,
when they burn my kin and my home and your temple,
you will look on with indifference
because the fire will never burn as bright as you.
When i told you that you would come to love me,
you didn’t believe me.
and then nobody believed me again
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