For J

For my Guru, who has NO idea how much he has done for me the past couple of weeks, without even trying. I SO owe him. As I secretly wiped tears away You knew down deep inside That when I said the dreams had stopped I'd spoke another lie I tried so hard to find some strength And in its place stood you To hairy to be heaven-sent I guess, more like a guru You peeled away the covers I was festering beneath Burrowed like a badger Brushed not hair nor teeth I wanted to stay hidden And to lick my wounds alone But in the space of a few harsh days I could feel how much I'd grown And if I slipped back into black You'd pick me up again Taught me to ignore the storms And try dancing in the rain With you, there never was pretence Of things I'll never be For the first time, in a long time I'm perfect being me.