Flashback
I used to dwell on the past
I had no clue
How lucky I was
How lucky I am
Always a victim
I played the role well
Falling into traps
Situations I couldn't get out of
Putting myself in comprimizing places
I hated my self
I thought it was all my fault
Then I woke up
I saw what I was doing to me
I realized that I could get better
I could take back control
I could be a survivor
I could be happy
Finally
So I with many hours of therapy
And a lot of work
I put it all behind me
I moved on
Even got married
To the man of my dreams
I thought it was over and then
In an instant there was a trigger
And a new memory
Popped up
Flashback
To my yesterdays
I was just a girl
A child
Forced to witness something so ugly
I don't quite know what
I feel the pain, fear
My heart pounding rapidly
Yet the images are scarce and
I don't think they are in order
I am trying hard to piece together
This fragmented memory
If only it would all come at once
So I could get it over
Move on again
Beyond the
Flashback
My eyes may not see it clearly
My mind is a little weary
But I know in my heart
That I will survive
I am strong
And while for now I may feel some pain
I may be frightened terrified
And even a little ashamed
No rhyme or reason
Yet it is how I feel
So I will say it again
To myself more than anyone else
I will survive
It's just a
Flashback
My eyes begin to water
The tears are spilling over
It is starting to come together
I see the child I used to be
And in my mind I put myself there
To comfort the little girl I used to be
To pull myself through
Find the light
In the darkness of my mind
I have survived
I am pulling through
I will be stronger
Because I am a fighter
And the
Flashback
It is over
By: Jean Shular
Copyright © Jean Bonella | Year Posted 2010
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