'fixed'

The first time someone called you brave, It was because you crossed the street without looking. You didn’t do it out of bravery; You just didn’t think to look. But you liked the punch of B on your lips. At a time when you weren’t quite sure Who you were, you knew you could be brave. When your friends felt sick on a rollercoaster, You had another go because you were brave. When they dared you to go in the abandoned house Everyone thought was haunted, You walked right in because you were brave. When you lost your grandmother’s necklace, You told the truth because you were brave. When he banged on the door, screaming, You let him in–because you were brave. When his fingers dug in your skin Grip too tight as he pinned you down, You didn’t beg him to stop. When his clenched fist smashed your skin, You didn’t scream. When he told you the bruises He left were your fault you didn’t cry. You kept quiet. When they asked about the purple patches You tried to hide with concealer and hair You didn’t tell the truth– Because you’d be damned If you let anyone call you a victim. You’re too brave for that.

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Teddy Kimathi

Date: 10/1/2015 10:47:00 AM

A nice piece Alltraine! Congrats for being featured in PS home page! ;-)

Ayesha Karim

Date: 8/12/2015 6:59:00 AM

Amazing poem. I love the parts in the poem about domestic violence that sort of resonated with me as a woman!

P.I. Alltraine
Date: 8/14/2015 5:00:00 PM

Thank you Ayesha.

James Marshall Goff

Date: 8/8/2015 6:35:00 AM

Hi P.I. agreed with PD...gripping line by line....good poem! Twist at the end caught me by surprise, vulnerability revealed in the face of oppression....thank you for such quality, jimbo

P.I. Alltraine
Date: 8/10/2015 2:41:00 PM

Thank you so much Jimbo :) If you haven't already noticed, I am a fan of your poetry!!! xxx

Eve Roper

Date: 8/2/2015 1:23:00 PM

Emotional powerful words enjoyed your beautiful write Hugs Eve

P.I. Alltraine
Date: 8/4/2015 6:11:00 PM

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my poem Eve. xxx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/30/2015 11:06:00 PM

Ouch, P.I., I've been called strong, never brave. I will never try to be or do something, I can not live up too. I think this situation comes across many, allowing others to label our faults. A very good poem... LINDA

P.I. Alltraine
Date: 7/31/2015 2:50:00 AM

Thank you Linda. It's interesting you mentioned being called strong but never brave. I was careful not to use the word strong in the poem. I think many people use the idea of bravery (which is subjective in the poem) as a substitute for strength.

Eric Boddie

Date: 7/30/2015 1:33:00 PM

I have to be totally honest about this written recital....I truly Love everything but the title....I don't like 'fixed' because this character seems broken....but that's just me, I think 'foolish' would be a better token....;0

James Marshall Goff
Date: 8/8/2015 6:37:00 AM

Cool explanation below!

P.I. Alltraine
Date: 8/1/2015 9:09:00 AM

Thanks again Eric- I really love your boldness. xxx

Eric Boddie
Date: 7/31/2015 11:47:00 AM

that is an outstanding concept....and regardless what I or anyone else says, if it works for you then it works....;)

P.I. Alltraine
Date: 7/30/2015 3:13:00 PM

Thanks for you comment Eric. :) I actually agree with you to some extent. There have been times when I didn't like this title either... I went through several, but I kept going back to this one, which, ironically, reflects the thought process of the persona in the poem. I'm building a collection about being still in specific moments. Fixed, here, refers to the person being trapped i.e. she is fixed in her idea of bravery, which in turn, leads to her being trapped in her situation. I think, like many victims of abuse, she isn't willing to admit that she is broken, or whenever she feel like she is, she yields to her idea of bravery, and feels that somehow this fixes her as it justifies her stillness.