Home » Poems » Jack Horne » Five Lines Drip

Five Lines Drip

Standing in the pouring rain, I felt like a drip,
The dark grey skies reflected my mood,
A salty tear rolled down my face onto my lip,
Tears and rain drops mixed, and I thought how rude
To be stood up by the woman I’d wooed!

* pure fiction

For Sara’s Five Lines metaphor & similie contest

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 8/7/2015 3:27:00 PM

Such a lovely write on this one. Nice flow but with a hint of sadness. What better wayt to cover the tears but with the rain. love phyl

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser

Date: 8/3/2015 3:18:00 AM

jack, this lovely with the imagery and your flow but the scene is sad!Happy week!~Olive Eloisa

Harry Horsman

Date: 7/9/2015 3:51:00 PM

Congrats Jack, so glad I've read this..i find it ever so visual, I see a bus stop in there somewhere, being able to relate to it....Wonderful poem just love it....

Joyce Johnson

Date: 7/7/2015 9:47:00 AM

Dear Jack, Thank you for remembering my birthday. I have been out of things with my broken arm and concussion so I haven't been entering contests or posting. Thanks for not forgetting me. I will have a nice birthday. My girls are coming to take me out. Love, Joyce

Scott Thirtyseven

Date: 7/3/2015 8:14:00 AM

Sounds as though she isn't a keeper. Just on the first line, I said something today that made me look stupid. Walking around in shorts and a short shirt I announced, "I'm feeling a little chilled today".

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/1/2015 11:09:00 PM

soupmail, my friend. Did I tell you I can't do hotmail this week?

Skat A

Date: 6/30/2015 10:54:00 PM

JACK Congrats, this is a sweet win. Love **SKAT**

James Tate

Date: 6/30/2015 4:23:00 PM

Jack, good job on the Five Lines Drip. Congrats.

Sara Kendrick

Date: 6/30/2015 3:19:00 PM

I am delighted that you entered my contest. All the entries were uniquely written and of good quality. I read your wonderful work and found it to be superb. Let me dry those crocodile tears.. Congrats on your win …Sara

Robert Johnson

Date: 6/30/2015 9:37:00 AM

It might be fiction, but certainly not unreal. :) Peace. Have a good week jack.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/29/2015 10:24:00 PM

ahhh,good to see the "drip" again!! Congrats. hey, Jack, I am able to do Soup but not Hotmail from my in-laws' house. Please if you are trying to write me, do it from here and not to hotmail! Hope you are liking your job. Luv, Andrea

Kp Nunez

Date: 6/23/2015 10:00:00 AM

The emotion jumped from the page to grab the reader! Such compelling 5 lines. Blessings for the contest, Jack. :-)

Eve Roper

Date: 6/18/2015 3:06:00 PM

I love your arrangements of words, even though it's pure fiction. 7 hugs eve

Nette Onclaud

Date: 6/17/2015 1:14:00 PM

drenched with fine images, jack.. keep it going, wow.. huggs

Emile Pinet

Date: 6/17/2015 11:02:00 AM

This poem presents a saddened viewpoint of a man experiencing a flood of emotions. Emile.

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 6/17/2015 10:03:00 AM

love the second line, good luck in the contest... luv p.d.

Shadow Hamilton

Date: 6/17/2015 1:16:00 AM

excellent Jack I can see you standing there drenched gl luck in contest hugs 7

Afolabi Muideen

Date: 6/17/2015 12:58:00 AM

Great penned dear poet, I love your write.........A.M.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/16/2015 4:49:00 PM

yes, a great similie, drip!!! I like this, Jack. good luck in her contest.

Joe Maverick

Date: 6/16/2015 3:57:00 PM

Well wrote Jack, Its all part of learning I suppose, and maybe you were cut out for better things.?

Paul Callus

Date: 6/16/2015 1:25:00 PM

Top marks for the content and rhyme, Jack! Somehow this reminds me of my poem "Scorned". We are both left with broken hearts!:) All the best, my friend. // paul