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FIVE LIMERICKS PART TWO

Inspired by Joseph Mays Limerick 11 contest
and a bonus one.

NOT FOR CONTEST

................................................................


A randy old dentist called Keith 
Drugged patients and played with their feet
Sucked the toe of a marine
Who then woke up looking mean
Now poor Keith no longer has teeth .

A dashing lawyer who was good at his job
But was only because of his big gob
He got a man ten years
Then he broke down in tears
He found out he was the head of the mob.

There was once a barber from Zaire
Who in life just didn't give a care
In his chair a man sat
Knocked him out with a bat
Stripped him off and shaved off all his hair .

A doctor who was always in a hurry
Got called out to a farm for Mrs Murray 
She was pale and quite ill
So he gave her a pill 
Then rushed off and fell face down in cows slurry.

There was once a mean sponsor called X
He decided soup members he'd vex
Gave them all an N/A
They cried out in dismay
He was sent via soupmail a hex.


Written on 9th January 2019.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Date: 1/10/2019 2:48:00 PM
Hi Tom, I had to come and check out the next five limericks after having such fun reading the first, well, my friend, still laughing, now at these five gems from your pen. You have surely given me a laugh this evening Tom. Excellent my friend. have a wonderful Thursday. Your friend always....Mike.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/10/2019 2:59:00 PM
Thank you very much Mike, don't know where they came from, wrote one then another, I couldn't stop lol. Happy that you enjoyed them. Tom.
Date: 1/10/2019 7:52:00 AM
O my goodness—Keith should have NOT messed with a marine! You’ve made me smile this morning. :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/10/2019 8:11:00 AM
Thanks P.S. Glad I gave you a laugh this morning. Tom
Date: 1/10/2019 2:31:00 AM
Well, WELL, done mate!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/10/2019 2:55:00 AM
Thanks Timothy. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 11:35:00 PM
I like all of them, but the best is the hex :) . Hugs Eve
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/10/2019 2:13:00 AM
Thanks Eve, that one came to me yesterday, not aimed at anyone lol. Hope all's well. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 7:38:00 PM
Hey tom you are pretty good with these lims, my friend. Each one of them made me smile. Good on ya mate....Peter
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/10/2019 2:12:00 AM
Thanks Peter, happy you enjoyed my bit of humour. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 4:42:00 PM
Lol! Tom, These are beyond funny! You are so good at this form. I liked them all but I'm with Andrea, I liked the last one the best:-) Alexis
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/10/2019 2:09:00 AM
Thanks Alexis, It was pure fiction, the last one but Andrea thought of some one lol. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 3:31:00 PM
haha. I love the last one. I can think of one sponsor like that!! Also I really liked the one about the lawyer!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 4:07:00 PM
Thanks Andrea, I was hoping the last one was fiction lol. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 1:40:00 PM
tom, fun-filled lims...this kind of mood will make you real well... huggs
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 2:03:00 PM
Thanks Nette, hope you've recovered from celebrating your birthday. I'm ok thanks, intending to go out cycling tomorrow so that's a good sign. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 1:37:00 PM
- Tom, these are so good .... where does it come from ... an enviable fantasy :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 2:01:00 PM
Thanks Sunshine, I've always tried to look at life from a humourous perspective and its spilling out in my writing. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 11:45:00 AM
These are all so cute, Tom! Love the dentist with no teeth and the barber who lost his hair. The last verse had me laughing out loud. So which will you enter? I think you can have two. Great work, my friend. Hugs, Carolyn
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 12:01:00 PM
Thanks Carolyn, can't enter any they must be ABCDE, FGHIJ.etc, working on that one. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 11:23:00 AM
You are good at these Tom! Funny and creative. Well done :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 11:59:00 AM
Thanks so much Heidi, Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 11:18:00 AM
thanks for the giggle Tom, very witty indeed:-) hugs Jan xx
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 11:58:00 AM
Thanks Jan, changed the second one a bit, think I've got limerickisus. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 11:06:00 AM
Haha... My favorite was the 2nd one..Nicely done Tom...
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 11:57:00 AM
Thanks Joseph, couldn't resist. Tom.
Date: 1/9/2019 9:42:00 AM
Enjoyed all poems Tom..great creative writes.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/9/2019 11:56:00 AM
Thanks Vijay, glad you enjoyed them. Tom.