John Michaels Poet Nonet

First Poem - Whirlpool

Luckless vessel plucked from the surface;
sucked into uncharted fathoms.
Relentless, roiling vortex
consumes all evidence.
Sated, exhausted,
swirling eddy
dissipates.
All is
calm.

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31 August 2017 (this version)


For the "First Poem" contest sponsored by Kim Rodrigues.
(2nd Place)

Notes for contest:

I joined Poetry Soup a few years ago and posted this as my first entry.

Reading back on it now, I am still pleased with its imagery and the message held within; how even the largest, most powerful man-made vessel becomes infinitesimal and completely helpless in the face of Nature's wrath.

I feel the poem flows with a nice rhythm and, as one kind 'Souper commented, the shape of the Nonet form almost replicates that of the subject matter - subconscious intent or happy coincidence…?

Poetry Soup has been instrumental in boosting my confidence and maintaining my output.  The member-run contests provide continual motivation, whilst the kind and supportive comments from fellow 'Soupers are nothing less than inspirational.  I thank you all.

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Kim Rodrigues September 6, 2017 at 11:44 AM Congratulations on your win in my contest! Love your comment: even the largest vessel is helpless in nature's wrath. Your whirpool from luckless vessel to all is calm. John Michaels September 9, 2017 at 6:41 AM Thanks so much for my placement, Kim (and for running the contest). Am delighted my older output still holds up!! Kind regards, John.

Alfred Berggren September 5, 2017 at 10:13 AM The shape of your poem is great it tells the story too, along with the poem. I love it. John Michaels September 9, 2017 at 6:40 AM Very kind of you to say so, Alfred. Thanks very much. Regards, John.

Janice Canerdy September 5, 2017 at 8:53 AM Very descriptive and well written, John. Janice John Michaels September 9, 2017 at 6:37 AM Thanks very much, Janice. Regards, John.

Janis Medders Tobechi September 4, 2017 at 11:57 AM I love the whirlpool shape. A great vortex and well written. Good luck in the contest. John Michaels September 9, 2017 at 6:39 AM Thank you for your kind comments, Janis. Kind regards, John.

Andrea Dietrich September 3, 2017 at 5:01 PM Yes, indeed, the shape for the topic is perfect!! Very well done for one's first entry that can now be entered into that contest. Mine is a really silly one!!!

Paul Callus September 1, 2017 at 12:55 PM Your foray into the Soup kingdom was indeed a most impressive one, John, and using this form added visual sense to the content. ~ Regards // paul John Michaels September 1, 2017 at 3:12 PM Thank you, Paul! Comments like this from you and the other 'Soupers are what makes this site so special! All the best, John.

Ovidiu Bocsa August 31, 2017 at 2:56 AM First poem is like first love: unforgettable.Wonderful verses.Best regards and wishes. John Michaels September 1, 2017 at 7:32 AM Thanks very much for your visit and your kind comments. Kind regards, John.

Viv Wigley August 31, 2017 at 2:49 AM Indeed, you should be proud of this first submission, John- I like the style and format, the mass of words and syllables at the top creating a maelstrom, and as each line decreases until all is still. Great little piece. Regards, Viv John Michaels September 1, 2017 at 7:32 AM Thank you for your kind and insightful comments. I'm pleased it still holds up well! All the best, John.