Fire Alarm

My grandpa is a real character; he really is a pip,
He likes the TV commercial where the girls all skinny dip.

You can never see them swimming or on the beach just sunning,
You only see them wrapped in towels but it starts his motor running.

“You know what I’d do if I were where they filmed this silly thing?
I’d pull the handle on the wall and make the fire alarm ring.

They would drop their towels when they ran around trying to get free,
Then I’d come in, the fire chief, and they’d all run to me.

I’d protect them from the flames, give them the shelter that they seek,
And while I helped them into my truck I think I’d take a peek.

In my fire truck full of women wearing nothing but their smiles,
I’d take them to the firehouse but only after a hundred miles.

Then I’d let them out so they could show their grateful gratitude,
And I’d greet each one personally ‘cause they’re still in the nude.”

Then gramps falls off to sleep and on his face we see his grinning,
And if thoughts are as bad as acts then he is happily sinning.

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