Fighting For My Life
I don’t know where it all began?
But I know I’m a dead man
Woke up to find she poured brake fluid all over my van.
Now I’m ducking and dodging the frying pan
My head’s got a lump from a, what I thought was a miss aimed tuna can
I broke the woman’s cardinal rule
I shouldn’t have done it, I know, I know, I’m a fool
Now I’m going to get my ass kicked by an ass whipping mule
I ducked and left behind my front teeth wedged in a stool
I am standing in a blood pool
She should have worn out by now, she must be tired
But a burst of energy the woman’s gone wild
She’s cross eyed and crying like a child
Sh-t she just knocked out three teeth I shouldn’t have smiled.
Dam! she got me, I’m dizzy on my knees
Everything is going dark but I can hear my mouth begging please!
Now she got my nuts in a squeeze
And the only expression I can come out with is GEEZ!!!
There I was gramercy
A wild woman with not mercy
Had a knife in one hand and in the other my Percy
It all started when she asked me to help her friend spread fake tan lotion
Then she saw two hand prints on her friend’s ass and it sparked the commotion
She came at me like a locomotion
At the time she said she was overwhelmed by her emotion
I was battered beyond repair
When her friend came to the rescue, my cries of despair
And told my girlfriend “I bought them with the hands printed on this jean wear.”
I collapsed to the floor whispering “not fair”
Now they call me the $6000 dollar man
With a permanent print of a fish on the head from the tuna can
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