Fighting For My Life

I don’t know where it all began? But I know I’m a dead man Woke up to find she poured brake fluid all over my van. Now I’m ducking and dodging the frying pan My head’s got a lump from a, what I thought was a miss aimed tuna can I broke the woman’s cardinal rule I shouldn’t have done it, I know, I know, I’m a fool Now I’m going to get my ass kicked by an ass whipping mule I ducked and left behind my front teeth wedged in a stool I am standing in a blood pool She should have worn out by now, she must be tired But a burst of energy the woman’s gone wild She’s cross eyed and crying like a child Sh-t she just knocked out three teeth I shouldn’t have smiled. Dam! she got me, I’m dizzy on my knees Everything is going dark but I can hear my mouth begging please! Now she got my nuts in a squeeze And the only expression I can come out with is GEEZ!!! There I was gramercy A wild woman with not mercy Had a knife in one hand and in the other my Percy It all started when she asked me to help her friend spread fake tan lotion Then she saw two hand prints on her friend’s ass and it sparked the commotion She came at me like a locomotion At the time she said she was overwhelmed by her emotion I was battered beyond repair When her friend came to the rescue, my cries of despair And told my girlfriend “I bought them with the hands printed on this jean wear.” I collapsed to the floor whispering “not fair” Now they call me the $6000 dollar man With a permanent print of a fish on the head from the tuna can