Feuding Neighbors

I have a neighbor who is obnoxious and rude. For the last 10 years, we've been having a feud. When he blew his leaves in my yard with a leaf blower, I put third degree burns on his butt with a flamethrower. That punk decided to take a dump in my back yard. Now he has false teeth because I hit him so hard. When I was mowing my lawn, he made his Dobermans attack. I put sugar in his truck's gas tank because I blew my stack. People tell me to try to get along with my neighbor. But I want to cut his head off with a lightsaber. He says that I started the feud but he is wrong. If we live to be 200, he and I will never get along. (This is a fictional poem.)