Feminist In the Garden

(Inspired by all the Adams, but with special mention to Frank, 
Dr. Ram, and Christopher)
 
For being a lazy head, see what you reap. . . 
I came from your ribcage while you were asleep!
I’m second but best,  and I’m looking fly,
so get with the program. Wise up, silly guy!

Don’t get all riled now that I’m not your type.
Have you seen a mirror? Talk about hype!
Go look in the stream then and see what I mean.
I’m needing a king because I am the queen!

You can’t lay down laws, for Eve is my name.
And as the First Lady, rule-breaking’s my game!
And neither to me does size matter a bit.
I’m after a man who has style and great wit!

Around here you won’t find a 7-11.
What did you think? That we’d gone to heaven?
Inside this here garden, with plenty to eat,
I’ll cook, but you catch it. . . And bring me a treat!

If being away from my voice is your wish,
then go to that stream there and catch me a fish.
I’ve already trained all the parrots to talk
to entertain me while you’re out on a walk!

Go be by yourself whenever you please.
I’m woman, and I’ve put the creatures at ease.
The mammals already have found me so grand,
I’ve got them all eating right out of my hand.

Because of my wisdom and my patient ways
I think we’ll be living here millions of days.
So don’t bother me and I won’t bother you.
And maybe we’ll even find “fun stuff” to do!

A doctor named  Ram in a garden nearby
is looking for someone who digs a smart guy.
He says that he needs the “intellect’s touch”
I might just go there if you hassle me much!

And off somewhere else I heard of another
named Adam too. Could he be your brother?
I might like to check him out, though his Eve
has told me he fancies himself with a Steve!

And don’t think I’ll leave for your telling me to.
There’s only so much you can get me to do.
That snake tried to give me an apple. The fool.
I rarely eat fruit, but a roast sure sounds cool!

So gird up your loins and catch us a lion.
Then I’ll don my leaf apron and begin fryin’.
And just you remember, in sex’s sweet war,
The one with nice “melons” is surest to score!


For Deborah Guzzi's Eve in Eden Contest
& for P.D.Slam contest (thanks Deb and P.D!)
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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12
Delaney Avatar
June 27, 2014 at 9:40 PM
Great writing Andrea: Humor and sass....love the leaf apron, Congratulations. SuZ
Marcum Wong Avatar
June 18, 2014 at 3:49 PM
Now this is why I come her Andrea, to read poetry that puts me in such a happy mood. You have to be the Queen of Wit as this fantastic poem attests to. Loved every line and I can see why it came in Number One! Big Congrats! Another Fav! Please post at PFT.
Oyewole Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 10:03 AM
The is really lovely and entertaining... Can you hear me clapping. Congrats on your wonderful slamming creation.
Chircop Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 9:27 AM
Wow Andrea..I never knew you could slam this good.This is an excellent post from your pen .You are really the best in so many forms dear.Very entertaining : ).Congrats. On your deserbed win.
Chircop Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 9:28 AM
Deserved.i meant oops phone typo
Dillard Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 8:51 AM
I should have known you were a "slammer". I enjoyed reading your creation. RAY
Sietesantos Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 8:03 AM
Congratulations on a well-deserved first place win, Andrea. You're the BOMB! Kindest regards!
Bateson Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 6:31 AM
Great humor and oh so true.... Loved it.
Smith Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 6:14 AM
Wow...powerful and humorous ..congrats on the top spot...hugs Tim
Smith Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 5:57 AM
Congrats on a kick arse win, my friend!!... I, like Eve in your poem tend to be a bit carnivorous.. Very slick write!!.. Hugs.. Arlene
A   Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 12:51 AM
PS........ Congratulations:) Thank you for the Slam Season Support... Stop by and enjoy my newest poem "Dear Mr President" OR my latest blog "Prettiest Poet Girl" if you like. No pressure. :):):) Hugs & Love ~Always & Forever~ LINDA
A   Avatar
June 17, 2014 at 12:45 AM
HeHeHe, Andrea, this is by far the xoolest... and I remember the poem... Happy Congrats from me to you... Linda
Mehta Avatar
August 14, 2010 at 4:19 AM
A well deserved win, Andrea
Nandy Avatar
August 3, 2010 at 12:46 PM
Congratulations on your well deserved win Andrea, full of wit and cleverly written.
Marcum Wong Avatar
August 2, 2010 at 10:29 PM
Andrea, This is so clever and witty and delightful to read. I can see why it was placed first. Congratulations!
Henderson Avatar
July 27, 2010 at 10:09 PM
very well deserved win Andrea. This is the first no slam, slam I have seen. goood work.
K. Avatar
July 27, 2010 at 1:32 AM
WooHOoo for you Andrea!!! Loved it that you got first place for this rockin' slam!! Super yay for you! ^_^!! Very well deserved!! hugs-- nikko :)
Thaker Avatar
July 26, 2010 at 9:36 AM
Congratulations!!!!!!!!this one is fantastic!!!!!!! Very beautifully described!!!!!!! Deserving!!!!!!!! Vrushani!!!!
Cwiak Avatar
July 26, 2010 at 9:11 AM
Nice one! Congrats, Andrea, on your win in the contest. Dan C
Brown Avatar
July 26, 2010 at 8:34 AM
Congratulations (Andrea) on your win in (Destroyer((Poet's contest "Slam!!! Slam!!! Slam!!! . Love, Carol
Culverhouse Avatar
July 26, 2010 at 8:01 AM
congrats on the second place win!! witty!
Guzzi Avatar
July 25, 2010 at 7:29 PM
And a real good winner for you hon! You go gal! Light & Love
A   Avatar
July 25, 2010 at 7:23 PM
awesome awesome,, CONGRATULATIONS!!!,you whopped their butts again. Loved your slam..since i first read it.,..p.d.
Sweetheart Avatar
July 25, 2010 at 5:50 PM
Congrats Andrea on your big win in P.D.'s contest with this fantastic write my friend.. enjoy your top spot tonight.. with luv..
Docherty Avatar
June 1, 2010 at 12:44 AM
Congrats on this winner! A great slam entry, upbeat and fast moving - Nice! Thanks for your welcome comments as ever, Anna-Marie.
Green Avatar
May 31, 2010 at 11:35 PM
Congrats on your win! I think we both told the bugger off well!
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