feelings

How do i escape this feeling, fixation on a life other than my own. How do I detach from others actions. And not let them affect me. I want to be an impenetrable ball of steel, reflecting the influence of others (in)actions with a infallible magnetic force. Now, I am a sponge, a cloud. I absorb the actions, words, intentions, of others. Easily, automatically. They seep into me with ease, and linger. I hold in these feelings from others intently. A walking collection of the mental states from those around me. Or I can be a cloud. My world, unstable, transparent, fragmented, easily dispersible with a gust of wind.