Feeling Emotions - Am I Abnormal

I’ve found something about myself As people do as their lives’ pass But I’m scared of what I’ve discovered I’m scared that I don’t feel emotions as they do But only sometimes Sometimes I feel them just fine Other times I feel too much or too little I can watch sad movies and bawl like an infant I don’t like sad movies I feel too much I can get so happy Feel so much joy and excitement I don’t know what to do with it all But On the opposite side of the scale I can not care at all I feel nothing Nothing but annoyance and irritation Nothing less than hate I don’t want to feel like this I don’t want to hide this I want to care I want to be the shoulder they can cry on when they tell me their problems Their concerns Their fears But I can’t I feel as though they are bothersome I feel like I couldn’t care less I wish they would just shut up! Is there something wrong with me? Am I abnormal? Does this make me less human? I have yet to find any answers I don’t think I want the answers anymore I’m afraid So afraid to hear the ‘yes’ from their lips As I do in my head I don’t like feeling like this I don’t want to be like this But does that really change anything? Does wanting to be different change the fact that I am who I am? That I am abnormal? That I am less than human? I want thee answers But God, I pray I don’t get them