Feel This Way

I never thought I could feel this way, All night long and every day. So I get on my knees and bow my head, And rest my elbows on my bed. It feels like I’m praying all the time, To get this man off my mind. I always pray for my heart to turn cold, Because letting him hurt me is really getting old. And then I always come to the conclusion, That all I need to do is just refuse him. But I can’t help that I love him so much, And how good it feels to feel his touch. My love for him will always be there, And I would do anything just not to care. I’m so afraid of letting him back in, Because I always put so much faith in him. He tells me he needs me in his life, And that someday he’s going to make me his wife. He has my mind expecting the worst, It’s a defense mechanism to minimize the hurt. When we were together, he always had an excuse, I had suffered so much abuse. He does things out of anger and pride, And no matter what, I always stood by his side. What if I open the doors and let him back in? Will I end up regretting my decision? I think if we tried, we could make it work. But is it worth the possibility of me getting hurt? Oh, dear God, help me please, I am getting back n my knees, And now I am going to bow my head, And put my elbows back on the bed. I know you will send the answer to me, I know that you will let me see, So I’ll sit back and wait for you, To let me know what I should do. And when that answer comes to me, I’ll know whether to be with him, or just let him be.