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Fearful Distress More Or Less

I’m facing way too much stress
I need some spiritual happiness
I’m embracing my true endeavors and my passions that make me feel blissful
I don’t need this greedy society bringing me down and making me feel stressful

I’m tracing my past with my manic mind
I feel like I was without eyes, oh so blind
I’m shaking off the tremors that dare to break me vigorously
I want to be truly set free from captivity immediately

I pray we don’t collapse,
But rise to meet our empathetic end and remain extremely sane 
I am afraid I might just relapse,
But I will have no lies to try to mend my bewildered brain

I want to feel this anxiousness no more
I know that change is a challenging chore
I feel like I’m running out of time right now
But I want to take my time here somehow

I want to spend my money wisely,
But I don’t want to spend foolishly
I’m feeling like a fly on the light bulb,
Letting my boredom disease unfold

I hear you, screaming out my name again
I hear you echoing in the nighttime, then
Silence met our lips and I’m sorry in advance
For leaving you in the dirt, my rose of elegance

I shouldn’t be so desperate, but I need your radiance
I shouldn’t have been so filled with so much hate
I should’ve had a sheer heart of elevating effulgence
I should’ve not of been hesitating here as of late

But, these doubts and hopes fill me with confusion without a trace
Rising till I fall flat on my face - 
I was trying to run this race with a steady pace
Surprising that I’m mistreated like a disgrace

But, I’m thankful for the plenty of blessings that come out of the blue
I’m grateful that I see wondrous wonders that thrill my eyesight so true
I shouldn’t be so desperate, trying to find you in the dark because I’m humiliated by your hatred
I shouldn’t be so desperate - I’m crying because I lost you out of nowhere and feeling dread

Life is not a game, doubtful darling - let’s have stress no more, not anymore
I’m not the one to blame for your failing, but I’m successful to the core
Set me aflame with your not-so-tame pain and I’ll definitely water it down with thundering cheer
All of it will eventually go down our mindset drain, so we won’t feel anymore frightening fear

Shadows dare to consume me, but I will pound it away with the drums of shimmering shamelessness
Eyebrows raise when they see the light above shining triumphantly like the sun and the mountains overhead
Dread will shed away like the skin of reptilian-remnant snakes, slithering rapidly over your unbearable distress
Voices flood my cranium and makes me feel numb again, guilty of the charges of abominations left unsaid

Running away from the veiled vanity in our lives that shred our high hopes into smithereens
Misery from within desires company, but I will replace it with remedy-relaxing moments of mesmerizing might come what may
Training my mind to say words of wisdom and understanding from God Most High since I was in the teens
There is a rainbow after a rainstorm as the saying goes and there is glorious grace after discouragement every single day

I tell off stressful news and won’t listen or sing the blasted blues
Enough is enough - there’s no more room for stresses and rues
I might sound desperate, but I wish squalid sorrow would disappear and praying God will draw near
I take flight day and night, for it’s my fate to feel distress no more; have no more fretful, worthless fear

Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2020

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