fear of missing your ''self''

there may be times when you think that everything's changed... but you look around, and you still don't see anything for what it is... so you willingly forfeit the hope of what could be, in exchange for the theory that should be. so naturally, you incline towards your conviction that things simply must be this way... and anything else that contradicts what has been true since you've been alive, was conceived by the mind of an unborn fetus. you don't just want to avoid pain, you want to hurt it back. you don't just want perfection, you want to make it look easy. you don't just want to live in spite of everything, you want to work against the world's form and shape, because of the prehistoric theory that it symbolizes true strength. and what will you do when you have all those things? you'll always feel like a soldier in a garden. will you trample over every flower, squirrel, and anthill... simply because you deem it to be inferior, and that no flower, squirrel, or ant can say otherwise? life will go on. so why choose the death of everything, over the life and oneness of it all?