Fault
I’m not myself
I’ve changed myself
I hate myself
But it is my fault
He was married
He said he’d leave
He too made her believe
But after a few years
Now would be three
I am still waiting for the promise I was told that year.
It’s too hard he says
The ex won’t let you and the kids near.
What a load of ****
I’m expected to believe this?
But I’m in love with him
So I don’t call it quits.
He stays the nights when he can
Trying to get them to understand
He’s still their dad
He’s still ‘their’ man
Though when he’s there,
There’s still something that I can not understand
Why can’t I call?
Why don’t you reply?
If they know you’re in a relationship with I?
In the past you have lied
Made me crumble
Made me cry
What’s different this time?
You still haven’t tried.
You stay in her home
Its the only way
She will let you visit your kids those days?
I’m asked not to get involved
Yet my jealousy desperately needs to be resolved
Will you one day leave me out in the cold?
‘Coz I’ve been doing what you’ve always told.
“Don’t post anything for her to see,
It will just fuel the fire for her and her family”
So I listen to this advice and always think twice
Before posting anything that may compromise.
My family can’t understand why I’m still with this man,
I don’t expect them to comprehend.
Because one day I know,
His true intentions may show
But for now through all the confusion
I have made my final conclusion
I’m still not myself
I still change myself
But I can not hate myself
Because it is not my fault!
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