Fathers Day, 21
According to The National Fatherhood Initiative, there is a father absence crisis in America. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 18.3 million children, 1 in 4, live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. Consequently, there is a father factor in nearly all social ills facing America today.*
Introducing Jackie. Jackie is now 20 and struggling to find her way. Since birth, her father's presence has been minimal, and his contribution to every facet of her life has been minuscule.
Some of us see none-traditional family values and no longer ask what, who, why, or how. Sometimes, the cultural shift is so drastic or overwhelming that we stand aghast. Others of us simply close our eyes, hoping the flood waters of change will subside, because the traditional and usual 'storm walls' we built no longer hold back the surge.
Say hello to Tommy. Tommy is presently a 21 year old father of a 14 month old daughter. Tommy and the child's mother are living together but not married.
We know that something has gone wrong, but we squirm and stumble over how to fix what is broken, because we no longer believe as we once believed. We are demolishing our foundations and exhausting ourselves in fixing what is not broken. We seem amazed and fear to engage such social changes for fear of being deemed judgmental.
Now, meet Jimmy, Jimmy is presently a 22 year old father of a 7 month old son. Like Tommy, neither is Jimmy married to the mother of the child.
We often see through a glass darkly, never attempting to light up the glass. We choose neither to adjust the glass nor reach for the only light that works. We often do not know what to do; so we remain silent and still, doing nothing. What once appeared to be culturally or morally unaccepting becomes acceptable.
Jackie, Tommy, and Jimmy** had unstable homes of absent fathers.
Even though we can never replace the absent fathers of Jackie, Jimmy, and Tommy, I am convinced that our Christian community is reaching out, loving and touching the lives of such young people as best we can. Certainly, we can do more and do better. In the name of love, we no longer frown from the bitter taste of the lemon, but smile gracefully and make lemonade, realizing that only God can heal our families. A new generation has emerged with new techniques of communication to which we must quickly adapt if we will have any chance of presenting values that we deem sacred and enduring.
Questions, whether silent or verbal, do arise as we approach the upcoming holiday for fathers. Let it be known that Jackie is beautiful and bright, and her father is not a criminal. Moreover, Tommy and Jimmy are affectionate and caring, helping to raise their child. In all sincerity, the real question is not whether to celebrate Tommy, Jimmy, and Jackie's father on Fathers Day; but rather, how should they best be honored and celebrated. I believe that love will find a way.
051921 PS *The National Fatherhood Initiative; https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic. **The names have been changed, but the circumstances are real.
Copyright © Curtis Johnson | Year Posted 2021
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