Father

You die tiny deaths inside my head Each time I think a thought That somehow Borrows your breath Your grip inside my mind is tensile Ready to spring Without notice And clamp on any innocent thought And without warning You loom large Without precedent Without permission I can’t garner comfort in words I can’t hide in songs The marrow of my soul Because they are yours Those are your dark corners The places you seek ease And if I follow I’m afraid it’s you I’ll find You have given me my voice And stolen it Both in equal measure And now I am silently screaming And I feel as I did at 8 years old Watching you walk away Except now I understand More than I ever wanted