Queen Mcnair Poet I do not know?

Falling To My Knees

God I try
Hear me cry as I testify:
Why, you may ask did I let him place his hand on my thigh?
Because he makes me so High
And he makes my earth touch the sky
Oh how can I lie?

but how can I lay?
In this midnight hour’s day
He needs me and I’m wishing I could stay
but I need You
This matter is on my mind, but my mind doesn’t matter
I battle my thoughts, my body’s distraught
I  want my say
But I need YOUR way
Deliver me Lord
   In Jesus’ name!
I lift my hands to pray
Ohh this pain lasts another day
Taking pain killers
But the devil is a liar
And as I reach higher 
He continues to be my killer
And Still I
     Still I…..
        
Still I stand, in this stand still
Desire yearning
Fire burning
Cognition turning

Am I really learning?

Entrapped, I’m
Slapped by
My Time trap
Running around in a maze
Simplicity perplexed by enigma
Scorched by this stigma
Seeing unclear as I walk through this haze

My thoughts rape my soul
This Love hates self-control

Although there is no love that’s greater
I remain a stubborn debater

Wanting the gratitude of right Now and not Later
But Lord you ARE my savior
And I know that you can heal me through prayer

Help me bleed
Wounds are what I need to succeed
Although I suffocate
It’s not too late for breath
Lord Give me life,
I’m not ready yet, It’s too late for death

So why do I want to die?
I know that sin kills me,
But why don’t I want to try?

Father you are my guide
And I’ve already been tried, 
Going through trials and tribulation
Walking long miles in humiliation
But when you judge me I pray that there
Is no long deliberation
Although I walk wilfully 
I am not worthy
and I admit I feel filthy	
But in my hour of judgment
I beg you, please find me “not guilty”
And as I sink in the depths of sin,
I ask you to deliver me again
Freeing me from this evil within

Amen
and Amen.

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