Falling Short

Steam from a passing train funnel 
wrapped under and over the footbridge 
like regret around a jilted lover. 
We were walking home from school 
(people walked places, then). 
Afternoon sun was glittering 
on the maturing wayside grass, 
tall and feathery. 
Term was ending. 
I was leaving primary behind. 
The "big school" loomed. 
Just then, Tiddler came up. 
"Good afternoon, David," 
said my mother. I hadn't known 
Tiddler's actual name, ere this. 
Tiny, fine-boned, frail, 
he was in some way underformed. 
Some mysterious brush with something 
grown-ups, hushed, named "diphtheria". 
"What's that, Tiddler?" ventured I. 
His end-of-year school photo. 
He proffered it, reluctantly. 
My raucous guffaw split the air. 
I don't remember handing it back - 
just my mother's voice, 
softened by sadness. 
I'd let her down. 
"Do you suppose," she said, 
once he was safely out of earshot, 
"he wants to look the way he does?" 
I was already burning with shame. 
"He'll show that picture 
to his mother, and she won't see 
the defects that you find so funny. 
She'll see a little prince." 
I watched his skinny legs, 
trotting on ahead, 
felt acid tears etch my cheeks. 

There was more to this being big 
than simply being big. 
I wanted to hold him in my own arms, 
and tell him how handsome he was. 
Or even just refer to him as David. 
But he trotted on, 
his image guarded tightly 
under one withered arm.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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White Avatar
March 13, 2017 at 3:44 AM
Key poem? Can you explain? For the rest: I'll mail.
White Avatar
March 12, 2017 at 1:57 PM
This made me cry... I hadn't seen this poem earlier than right now. Because of all sorts of reasons I am in a wheelchair and my body is not the way I dream it to be. (Wasn't always like that). How gentle you tell this story. How vivid this memory must be for you? Extraordinary poem my friend, in its sepia coloured way of storytelling
Coy Avatar
March 13, 2017 at 2:38 AM
I love that. "Sepia coloured". And from things you've said, I gathered that you had serious health problems and also that this hadn't always been so. It seemed best to wait for you to tell me more. Strange, but this was the "key" poem ...
Costales Avatar
February 11, 2017 at 8:36 AM
sad, but I feel a lesson here that maybe has carried you while growing up, made you more compassionate. good read to wake up this morning
Coy Avatar
February 11, 2017 at 8:39 AM
That is so lovely of you to say! Thank you for commenting so positively!
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