Fallen

Remember that I cried
when the screen slapped in to my face
annunciation of  your having somebody
again

I don't cry
ever

it wasn't first time

your ego run over me
and easily I blamed everything
apart from dream of our predestination
through all this time there was a feeling
as destination was reached
at the moment when I felt presence in crowded room
electrified fireflies contaminated my neural system
from that point I could smell your trace as well trained dog
like that time
when we bumped to each other in the middle of overcrowded square
at a masquerade party
I pretend that I don't recognize you
so you took of your mask

never knew how to behave being around
us
always did losing steps
us
never walked side by side

my sinful steps continuously falling behind
your steps accelerated in need for filling that gap between 
maybe I took peccant steps  
but there was no need to step on me every time when I came close
there was no need at all
we couldn't see each other
masks were on the whole time
mine to prevent you from noticing fallen parts
yours to prevent my realising of your victorious satisfaction
every time when there was potentially outlined capitulation
why couldn't you be my glue at least that one time
when I was placed in parked car by your side

how appropriately
this story is parked whole time
yet we never took our ride

lie on lie
threaded as crystal parts of the necklace
you wrapped around my throat

by the choice I'm losing breath 
as equivalent for my dignity
focused on breathes can't fall apart
while sitting next to you in that borrowed white box
                - I'm sorry If I hurt you I didn't know how you feel
declined from metal surfaces
causing internal bleeding of my soul
fallen

wanted to scream
but chosen smile instead
you'll never see me cry
fallen

between lines shyly pushed
               - feels like I always knew you
came to the surface then drowned with one 
              -  thought she was the one

the sound of my heart
fallen
from that exposed plate
is hidden by cognition that you have read wrong screenplay again
and forced that last move on chessboard
              - It's not like I see myself as mother of your children

silence from brought down curtain  
fell
fallen
both of us 
skillful at making theatre
only mistake done was letting the audience to validate us

augustfree verse

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